Loony’s Neighborhood

Some more pics as promised. They were all taken with my phone as my basic requirement for a phone is that it should be a movie-quality camera first, scanner, laser gun, computer and possibly coffee maker second and a phone third or even 93rd, but obviously quality of these pics is sometimes low given the low tech threshold of Terrans.

1. A beach at Cape Point Nature reserve

2. The airport at Palaborwa. Yup. That is the WHOLE airport. It reminded me of the airport in Gaborone (Botswana) 20 years ago (or even Tirana in Albania a few years ago) except it was bigger, cleaner and way more functional. The plane was tiny, only two seats on one side and one seat on the other side of the isle and the passengers had to be spaced out evenly in it to balance it. Total capacity was 32 people including pilots and crew.

3. A giraffe

4. A not so clear pic of a wildeebeest running

1. Buffalo

2. Zebra

3. Frog. Only little but surprisingly loud. It made more noise than the Hippos.

4. Old male Elephant with Musk, waving it's ears at us in a rather pissed off fashion. Luckily the guide was a cool guy and didn't get freaked and stayed there with the car so we could get nice pics. Redhead Girl spotted it and we would have missed it if it wasn't for her. It's amazing how a 5 ton animal can basically hide behind the equivalent of a shrub at 20 metres. See later pics for proof...

1. Elephant hiding behind the equivalent of a bush lamp-post

2. And now you see him...

3. If you look carefully you should see the "tear" that shows he's in musk making him irritable, and testosterone fuelled, meaning, more likely to make him want to stomp dumb tourists bugging him, but he liked us I guess.

4. Inside the plane, pic taken by me holding my arm out. The other side of the isle was a single seat.

So that should complete the pics of animals section for ya.

The trip was basically all good and I even got to see and talk with my father again after 7 years. He's still physically fit and doing well, except I think he thinks in his 60s he should be "old" so has slowed down a bit, which is not all bad since he really needed to get better emotionally speaking. He seems calmer anyway and he's finally retired, which is good.

Hopefully he will think up of a nice hobby that doesn't involve shooting people or hunting criminals. He wrote an article for Magnum (an outdoor/hunting/wildlife magazine) and they liked it, so he might do more of that which I think would be nice for him as he certainly has a lot of funny, crazy, stories to tell and it saves me having to do it at some point.

Dad in the left one and Mom on the right one.

The only hitch was that on the way back the flight was cancelled which was badly unannounced so we wasted hours at the airport before finding out and had to come back the next day to fly home a day late in an almost empty 747 which meant we could stretch out taking up five seats to sleep a bit. Redhead Girl didn't bother, but I did as I never get to sleep on planes due to my height mostly.

Also I renewed my membership to the Mile High Club as Redhead Girl insisted she wanted to join this exclusive club... That's why I love her, she's just comic-book cool.

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Yeah, I know. You were all waiting with baited breath for my return. The 1 comment I'll get from samjohn999 trying to sell me some real estate in Cambodia or take part in the very safe and secure online spreadbetting that has recently made many millionaires will be all the proof I need.

Yes. I do thank God for my adamantium self-esteem daily. So there.

ANYWAY...Lots happened over the last two months, which is why the long absence from my blog. But I make it up by reporting much funny things and some amazing pictures from my recent trip to see my family in Africa.

So...I am now able to tell you dear readers that I now NO LONGER WORK! That is, I am now no longer employed by anyone to do anything for them that I don't want to do. I will be writing books, finally getting my hypnosis work that I have been doing for 4 years more mainstream and training in and occassionally teaching (when my friend Uldis is not doing it) the System, that awesome, awesome, cool amazing "martial art" (but really oh sooo much more than just that) I have been doing for a while now.

Some of you that care can go see more on that at WWW.WAYOFSYSTEMA.COM where you will find a rather simple site (which badly needs a revamp but I have no time or skills to do it and am hoping one of the other Systema guys will improve it sometime before 2012....)

So yeah!! I am no longer a slave of the system. For a little while anyway. I have a little money saved up for a year at least so the plan is to make enough money to survive (or even you know, buy a few islands, I don't mind being stupidly, obscenely rich, it's ok with me...) doing only what I want to do out of my own wish to do it, as opposed to having to in order to do luxurious things like have running water and food to eat in a nice apartment.

Those of you now turning green with envy please note that you are as much in a position to be doing what I am doing (sweet, sweet nothing) as I am or was. If you REALLY want to do so, I cannot suggest strongly enough that you read Vadim Zeland's book Transurfing Reality (There are three books but the first two are really enough and the last two are only available in Russian for now). More than anything it has certainly helped to shape my view of reality in a way that is really malleable by me, the operator of it. Sounds too Matrix-ish for you? Too bad. That's how it works and you should watch more SF movies anyway, it's good for you!

I also moved home and thus pay a cheaper rent, though that at the moment is REALLY cheap as I have stopped paying it altogether since more than 2 months after we moved in I STILL have boiler and electrical problems of a pretty serious nature (not to mention several other issues not as serious but certainly not fun to deal with). Let's see how long it takes the Estate agents to wake up now. In the meantime I am going about fixing these things myself now and I will simply not pay rent until I have it ALL sorted and then I will deduct all the costs as well as my time for sorting it all out and only THEN start paying rent again.

Every possible reasonable option has honestly been tried before this and at the end of it I have just lost patience with the utter fucking scandalous incompetence, stupidity and fucktard, brain-damaged-like inability to get any kind of half-decent service done in apparently the whole of greater London from people who take chunks of money from you for supposedly providing such non-existent service. 

I would list the incredibly long amount of retarded things I have been subjected to but I'll stick to a few highlights for your amusement:

• The leaky tap in the kitchen was supposedly visited by a plumber. It still leaks exactly the same as before so I asked if the next time the plumber can maybe also hold it and speak some comforting words to it as apparently just visiting it doesn't do the trick.

• Today the guy who supposedly sorted out the washing machine (but I haven't tried it yet so I seriously doubt he actually did anything successful on that appliance) suggested that the way to rectify the problem of the fridge door not staying closed was to "not put any bottles in the bottle holding part of the door". Actually since it's snowing in London I suppose really I should just throw all the stuff in the fridge on the balcony and hope for the best. Maybe even hope it snows enough to make an ice-box which will take us through the short summer like trappers of old in the Canadian wilderness. I somehow resisted the urge to ice-pick the "handy-man" and hang him from a hook off the balcony in case meat runs low in the harsh winter months.

• The boiler "knocking noise" and intermittent hot-cold water when showering is not due to any problem with our boiler. It's from another flat. Hyperdimensional physics must clearly be involved, but I guess it's a "need to know" thing because when I asked how in the name of anyone sane could an electrical problem in ANOTHER flat be affecting MY hot water supply I was not given an answer. Just repeated the same drivel above. I invited the estate agency's maintenance guy to come up here and see for himself. To be precise I told him to bring a towel because I would have pleasure in having him take a shower here to experience for himself the situation. I don't care if it sounded gay to him. At this point buggery is after all only about the 7th lowest item on the list of things I'd like to do to the whole of the "management" of the Estate agency and their employees responsible for them not fixing these issues over a period of 2-3 months.

So yeah...rent's gonna be real cheap around here for a while. I may have to live like a fur trapper of the 19th century but then again the Estate agency offices are literally just outside the apartment complex I live in, so if I ever run out of fresh meat I will just go ice-pick one of the proto-humans they employ and hang his/her carcass from my balcony for preservation purposes and good meat curing. They certainly don't seem to serve any other function so I assume they are a meat giving animal. Sort of like cows but stupider and less useful. And more full of shit which probably means they play havoc with the ozone layer.

In the meantime enjoy a picture of the view I have from my new office space I created inside the flat. That mild reflection is me and I am glad to say I actually have my PJ bottoms on...bonus!

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2 comments

After the hectic end of my work and move, Redhead Girl and I went on holiday for three weeks to South Africa, (Johannesburgh) though she also visited her oldest friend who now lives in Maputo and we also went to Cape Town and a resort bordering the Kruger National Park for a few days so we were actually in planes a whole bunch of times while there.

The trip was great and I also got to train with Vadim Dobrin who is a gentleman as well as being a deadly and funny guy. He was so cool he basically organised one class on a Saturday just for me with two of his top students (who are both younger, nicer people and better than me at Systema, but I feel I make up for it by being far more ornery, vicious and unpleasant than them in general life [which gives me immense satisfaction]* and knowing things about women and sex they will only discover if they become at least as debauched as I am and work hard at it for the next 50 years or so)**

Here's a few pics for you (and more later, including some of an Elephant in musk at about 15 metres from us):

They are (from left to right):

1. Redhead Girl silhoutted on Camps Bay beach

2. Me and my little brother after I just baptised him (with some sea-water, hence the crosses) "Aldo Libero" the first in my own sect of free people. Yes, I plan to have a religion named after me one day, it's all part of my plan to take over the world for my Martian brethren. This was at Yzerfontein where I have a couple of plots, one of which is now for sale for about R1,100,000.00 (roughly about £90,000) which considering it's about 200 metres from the Ocean and has guaranteed views and given the general prices in the area is actually a decent price, so if any of you want it, let me know. Broker fees would be on top of this.

3. Redhead girl looking sexy at Boulders, the Penguin colony, which she loved and where she took hundreds of pictures of the ridiculous and yet very cool penguins.

4. Redhead girl and me at Boulders again (Simon's Town).

Here is a couple more for you:

1. A Penguin suntanning. if you look you can see he has his eyes closed and little short feet propped up

2. Boulders beach. Exclusively for the use of Penguins so their small colony can be safe from human interference

3. Redhead girl at the Dias cross at Cape Point

4. My view for a lot of the time we were at the game resort

But since I know you're all waiting for the animal pics, here they are:

1. Ostriches at cape point. the males are black with white feathers and the females brown

2. Hippos at the golfing resort (I have never played golf, but the animals all over the range are cool)

3. Crock near the pond in the middle of the golf course. I had to get a little closer than you see Redhead Girl in the last pic as all these pics were taken with my camera phone, but he was sleeping so no problem really

4. Redhead Girl takin pic of the giant lizard

This post is becoming mammoth, so more pics of animals (including the Elephant one) in the next post after I eat dinner!

* Hey I get my pleasure where I can, don't judge.

** I'm not that old, it's just that there's lots of catching up to do for them in this area really. Way more than is healthy anyway.

Ok. Loathes first:

I'm alone in my bed. (No cuddles for me.)
It's cold. And dark.
All the children in my life have Swine flu.
Some customers are just no fun at all.
Eric Cantor. He looks like a smug asshole. Maybe he isn't always that way, but every time they stick him on a TV screen, I want to spit on him. (That's how I really feel.)

Loves to end with:

It's fall and I will adjust to the cold and dark thing.
The shed's almost done, so I'll be painting soon. (This will probably become a loathe in a little bit, haha.)
I got some of my Christmas presents in the mail (I might have mentioned this already) and they are SUUUUPER cute. (Any etsy fans? Check out Down & Out Chic.)
I'm getting ready to curl up with Time Traveler's Wife. (I was going to start a few minutes ago...)

Things to look forward to:

Creating a packaging technique for the cute Christmas gifts I've received, since they all came in one box. (Time to get festive and creative... a bit early, I know.)
The weekend. I have off again on Saturday and I think I'm going to block off my morning for breakfast. I want baked oatmeal because it's delicious.

...and compulsory hard-labour sentences issued for stupidity would be nice too.

Now, contrary to popular belief, I am not a violent man. Truly, I am not. I am driven to it however by excessive amounts of stupidity. Lazy selfishness, and generally lack of awareness in others except of anything other than one's own anus as though it were the center of the Universe.

Let me highlight a few examples that occurred in the past week.

Pret a Manger Server in Training.

So we have a server in training. Yes I understand that it's a minimum wage job where you have to wear a uniform so basically your intellectual potential has to be marginally above that of lobotomised clam in order to get the job, nevertheless, we can train monkeys to recognise certain sounds and press appropriate buttons so this should not be beyond the range of capabilities of your average Pret a Manger server.

And of course I understand that some of these poor souls only speak a local dialect of Serbo-Croat accompanied by gesticulations and much face-slapping. In fact I am happy to help with the face slapping really. Because surely to God it should not take 15 minutes to get me a damned cappucino. I picked the rest of the stuff I want myself and it's in front of you. It's not that hard. Punch the button for each corresponding item. Add a cappucino. Tell the guy behind you to make it. Hand it over.

Surely, even if you hailed from the same Taliban cave that Bin Laden uses you have actually been inside and used one of these places. Because Osama himself uses US made dyalisis machines and these are a little harder to come by than a McDonalds. So you should have a vague idea of the process.

What you do not do is punch in half the items, forget which ones you did after you come back from a sudden interruption you just had without prompting or explanation to anyone (violent diarrhea? Memory loss? Schizophrenic surge?) then re-type in half of them, forget the cappuccino, try to give me a black coffee and then repeat the price to me 4 times as though I was deaf or actually not paying.

I mean, ok...so she's in training. So for fuck's sakes...somebody please train her! Christ. Or just at least do a basic "is she on heavy drugs/insane/less capable than a lobotomised clam" Q&A evaluation form.

Or hire a chimp. At least I'd get a laugh out of a chimp even if he overcharged me for cappucino and made it frothy instead of wet. Because he sure as fuck wouldn't get it wrong past that. And I could live with that. From a chimp.

The general staff of the estate agents we used to move.

Really good at getting me the kind of place I wanted.

Also really good at not giving me a damn thing as soon as I paid the deposit. Including two full sets of keys, a garage door opener, getting the tap fixed, or even giving me a copy of the lease I signed. In about 6 weeks.

This prompted a letter from me to them. It discussed at some length (and I quote myself) my not being born a sarcastic pain in the rectum but being made into one. Also how if they thought I was a pain in the rectum now, they would have a whole new dimension of idea about that come Friday if the whole list of items hadn't been taken care of, since it is my clear and expressely stated intention to then take care of all said items myself, and charge them for my time. Which is quite expensive and I have proved in court before and am very willing to do again, after I stop paying rent until the landlord shows up on my door step, at which point I'll settle with him directly thank you very much.

I did get a nice e-mail back telling me I would be contacted by the end of the day. So let's see.

The disgusting turd at Waterstones Jubilee place working there yesterday afternoon.

The fuckwit with the beard and the finger in his nose. This fuckwit personified everything I hate about humans in one person pretty much. Excepting child raping and a few other choice behaviours I am not absolutely certain he exhibited.

I bought a couple of books and fuckwit rings them up while actively picking his fucking nose. Being too oblivious, half-witted, lazy and self-engrossed to understand that placing his snot over my just purchased book is not what I consider an added bonus.

I was however surpised with myself. Normally I would have had a marginally higher blood pressure after eviscerating the idiot. But I actually remained calm, simply wiped down the books when I got home with a bacterial wipe and then contemplated this whole regimen of incopetence and ineptitude. It reminded me of the futuristic Graphic Novel featuring Marsha Washington. Google it. Read it. The subtext of ever increasing human incompetence is disturbingly realistic.

I mean, short of public executions for stupidity this situation is not going to get better. I am therefore planning to have an island getaway in preparation for stage one of the annexation of this crappy planet. World domination requires quiet contemplation free of the regular tsunamis of human stupidity I seem to encounter daily after all.

And I am not even going to talk about my job and the examples there. But trust me. That specially bred Pret server? She has relatives all over the planet. And I work(ed) with many of them.

Now, while professionally my preferred method of dispute resolution would actually be this:

when it comes to intimate relationships, this song describes it perfectly.

And Redhead Girl has this attitude etched in her woman's soul.

For which I am grateful to whatever Gods may exist.

This one's for you.

So the plan was to pack Saturday and move on Sunday.

Sunday comes along and I take the first of two furniture units down to the lobby. I come back up in the elevator and when i step out of it nearly go through the window in the corridor because the thing has actually stopped about a foot higher than the floor and I stepped out of it without noticing (because you sort of expect lifts to stop level in general!)

Needless to say the lift is now screwed. We call out the emergency repair guy who takes an hour to get to our place then after a quick investigation proclaims that it's a "worst case scenario really".

According to him, the lift expert, the whole memory unit of the lift is shot and it's not even from the UK but maybe Italy or Portugal or Spain and the lift has no way of re-setting itself without this board being replaced. Which will take at least a week no matter what.

So we are basically fucked and together with one poor Brazilian guy who actually showed up to help us move (man with a van) despite being told the problem we moved the entire contents of the flat out from the fifth floor.

Redhead Girl was actually heroic throughout the whole thing. That girl has an organisational ability that is quite superior to my own and while I have moved now 42 times in my 40 years of life (not joking) she moved 5 times in 2 years so we're both pretty expert at it by now.

Even so I did not plan to take things down five flights of staris for 4 hours straight. With a fever on top of it which just added to the fun when I got the sweats and chills.

At one point my neighbour Lee (Lee Hurst the comedian was my neighbour for 3 years) offered to help and I asked if he was actually serious. Redhead Girl asked if he knew "it was not a joke!" but to his credit the man helped us for about an hour.

I told him I wasn't sure if I had been a good neighbour or if he was or if maybe he hated my guts and couldn't wait to see me on my way, but whatever it was I was grateful. It needs to be addd that Lee has asthma. Not that I knew, coming down the stairs with yet another box of heavy books I saw him a couple of flights below me take a quick pause to use his inhaler. Just once in a while a human does something like this that gives me hope for the whole planet.

The Brazilian guy missed the start of the Brazilian Grand prix, which he wanted to see to help us deliver the stuff to the new place. He was contracted to get £60, but I gave him £100, since without him it would have been only so much worse.

Redhead Girl packaged most of our crap in a way that was novel but very efficent for me. I am used to moving from one African home to another mostly and generally you need to pack your crap into bomb-proof crates to ensure at least 50% of it gets to the destination. Redhead Girl on the other hand put everything in big IKEA-like bags and it worked faster at both ends. She also put up with my grumpy, sweaty, fevered ass, and carried a fair load of crap up and down stairs too, so yeah...as soon as we're settled in properly I'll have to think of a good thing for her.

This is what our new place still looks like because of course along with all this move comes the busiest time I have ever had in the last 6 years probably. Even the toy duck looks wasted.

People calling me and relying on me for all sorts of martial arts related stuff. Work kicking into high gear as we're reaching the end of a pretty intense process and people near and far inviting me to all sorts of things I can't really say no politely to, like their birthdays, house warmings, grandmas dying (not really but you get the idea).

So much so the EXTRA-stuff begins to conflict. For example, this next Sunday we were supposed to go see a friend of mine I have not seen in years but I also just got told that someone has organised for a magazine interview for the Martial art stuff I do and could I please be along as I am the instructor for it.

And tomorrow I am supposed to go to another dear friend's birthday party but also i have to take care of my new work related stuff i have been ignoring for too long. And yeah, our new home still looks like you saw above. I.e. a bomb shelter. That has received multiple direct hits.

I also have to go over to the old place tonight to hand over the keys and do the inventory and hopefully not get ripped off and get my deposit back in full since i took the trouble to hire not one but TWO professional cleaners. Mainly because the big furniture could not be managed down the stairs so Redhead Girl is going there a couple of hours before me with yet another man and van to get the last bit out. We've both been on 13-18 hour days for a couple of weeks now and basically i can't wait for the end of all this stuff.

Which is why I have been lax on the blog readers.

And just so you know....when I got to the office on Monday the lift THERE was out. And guess which floor the office is on? Yup. The fifth.

And when I returned to the old flat to finish up the last bits....yup. The lift was working perfectly. Seems the lift expert of Sunday was just another lazy, incopetent, arse-sucker who couldn't be bothered to know how to do his actual job when it's apparently easier to blame it on "cheap parts from them foreign countries".

So yeah. But apart from that, everything is going just swimmingly.

And I can't wait for my job to end...it continues to get extended and frankly I am just over it now and it needs to stop, despite the money being good of course.

Amazing video posted by bookmole.

If all the cyclists and all the smokers just suddenly died it would be a better world.

I'm thinking like a really short version of Flash-Forward, that cool new series...only not a series, more like a single pilot that lasts about 12 minutes.

Every stupid ass cyclist (that's 93.7%) of them and every single smoker (because smokers are all definitely dumb fucks) just keels over and dies.

We would still have to deal with their putrifying remains of course, but it would be a small price to pay for the sudden spike up of the average human IQ of some 30 points.

The 12 minute documentary would end with an ominous hint that if the flash-death happens again politicians and bankers would be next.

Apparently "Hollywood" is up in arms over the Roman Polanski arrest (Metro 29th September 2009).

Certainly at least one Debra Winger, president of the Zurich Film Festival judging panel seems to be up in arms about it saying she and others ("we") are standing by (him) and awaiting his release and his next great film.

Personally I want to also know the names of who exactly "Hollywood" is. I want to know if this stupid bitch Debra has a daughter. Maybe a 13 year old daughter. And then I want to ask this cow if she would be ok with a 44 year old man drugging her daughter, then raping her, forcing oral sex on her and sodomising her. I can only conclude that Debra would say that this is all good and great and OK with her.

Possibly though the 44 year old man might have to be a film director for her to really approve. But if he were, I personally at least, am convinced, Debra would help him hold the little girl down.

I also have to deduce that Debra Winger is a drug addled crack-whore that stumbled into her job by sucking every cock in Zurich while being filmed. I am also assuming it's only by sheer force of blackmail and the threat of exposing such films that she ever got to do anything other than sucking cock and shooting up heroin.

Mostly because I am assuming she is such a pig-ugly, shit-stained, crack whore that being seen with your cock in her mouth is in and of itself more shameful than the actual act of same-said cock-sucking being made public.

Now my conclusions may be somewhat speculative, they may be way off the mark, hell, they may just be my imagination. But they are mine and I like them and I firmly believe them. In my mind that is who she is. Oh. And she likes to fuck drugged children too. Which is why she's on Polanski's side. Child-fuckers of a feather and all that.

I believe this too. I don't have any actual proof or any evidence, but just a nagging feeling and that's good enough for me.

A bit strong you say?

Well let's see. Did Old Roman at the age of 44 drug, rape, force oral sex on and sodomise a 13 year old girl?

Yes. Yes he did.

Did he know she was 13 at the time?

Yes. Actually yes, very clearly so, despite what other pedophile-friendly "documentaries" and their "producers" would like you to believe: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2009/0928091polanskiplea10.html

Does it actually make it NOT rape if he didn't somehow know she was 13? No. No it doesn't change that at all.

But he did know anyway. Just to you know...be clear.

Yeah. Yes. He most certainly did.

Did he admit all of this in court? Yes. Yes he did.

So really....there is NO doubt at all. He did do this thing.

Yes. Yes he most definitely did.

Right. So why the fuck shouldn't he rot in jail according to anyone?

Oh well, his mom died in Auschwitz and his pregnant wife Sharon Tate was slaughtered in an admittedly horrific murder by Charles Manson and his drug-crazed gang in 1969.

Horrible shit that happened to him? Yup. Without a doubt. Enough to drive most people insane for sure.

So how does this change the facts of what he did? It does not.

Not one little bit.

So now I'd like to know which Hollywood people side with Polanski.

Step right up people. Tell us your names. Because I want to know which actor/producer/director or other Hollywood executive and hanger on believes drugging and raping a 13 year old girl in every hole of her body you can forcibly stick your cock into is ok.

I want to know who these fucking pro-child-rape people are.

Because I like deducing things about such people, like Debra up there, whom as you have seen I deduced - by just her associating with Polanski mostly and siding with him and also my natural instincts and the weather today at noon (which hasn't happened yet because it's 11.27am, but it's noon somehwere in the world!) - as being a drug-addled, black-mailing, pig-ugly, shit-stained, crack-whore.

I want to deduce about them "Hollywood" people. Because Sherlock Holmes, he's got nothing on me readers. I will deduce the living shit out of those pro-child-raping, pig-fucking sons of bitches.